What is an Emotionally Intelligent Leader?
You’ve likely heard the term “emotional intelligence” tossed around in articles, podcasts, and the like. But what does it really mean, and how can it help you lead your team more effectively? Emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing your own emotions while also recognizing and influencing the emotions of others. This skill is particularly valuable in our dynamic retail world, where interactions with customers and team members can be highly charged and unpredictable.
We’re hearing increased stories of customers and employees becoming more aggressive and even violent at times based on different situations. Having a well-rounded set of emotional intelligence skills can help relieve those situations and even prevent them altogether. The connections you make can be the difference from a situation that escalates out of control to one that remains calm and productive.
Here are a few things you can do to become an emotionally intelligent leader.
Pay Attention
Noticing and acknowledging details goes a long way to showing you are connecting beyond just a surface. Take notice of things that are important to your team members. What do they say about their family, their outside activities, or their favorite things? The subtleties that come from casual conversations can help strengthen your connection with them in future conversations. Active listening is a key element to paying attention, then connecting contextually in conversations in the future.
Learn more about their interests
Beyond just paying attention, but showing curiosity about what they like to do, especially outside of work. You may be surprised at some of the interests of your team, or even customers. Having this knowledge is a great way to connect outside just yourself and that person. Linking them to others on the team who have similar interests can build a strong bond among team members or with customers. Think of it as building a loyalty network within your store — team members, customers, and the community all come in to play.
Reflect on your interpretation of what others tell you
As you are speaking with others and listening to the things they share, take time to process that information for yourself. What does it mean? How may that information be impacting them? Is there a story behind the story? This works closely with paying attention and seeing beyond just the surface of the discussion.
Emotional intelligence is about emotions. How others share the information, how you connect and process it are as important as the information itself. Understanding your emotional connection to the situation will help inform how to best react based on the needs of the situation you find yourself in. Self-reflecting on your personal emotions through each situation also helps improve how you handle future environments as well.
Check whether you accurately reflect the other person’s feelings after they express them to you
Beyond your own emotions, it is good to check whether your interpretation is accurate to how others are feeling. Stating back what you’ve heard, acknowledging how others may feel, is a good way to defuse the situation and allow for the appropriate responses to be applied. The last thing you want to have happen is to assume how someone is feeling only to find out that was not how they felt, and the situation has worsened. People will appreciate you checking for understanding along the way and throughout discussions.
Show others that you are interested in them
The best way to connect with others is to ask about them. Showing a genuine interest in things that are important to others deepens connections and ensure you can place yourself in their situation. Curiosity and learning leads to empathy. Empathy leads to connections. Those connections will allow you to serve your team and customers in the best possible way.
Avoid trying to make yourself the center of attention
All of these things add up to learning more about others and not making it about yourself. It is okay to share stories and even common interests, but bring the conversation back to them and their needs. This becomes especially important when interacting with customers in an emotionally charged situation. The last thing they want to hear about is your problems or needs.
Emotional intelligence doesn’t have to be scary or complicated, but it does require practice and a willingness to connect with both your own feelings and the emotions of others. It might sound simple, but it’s not. Regularly reflecting on your emotions, seeking feedback, and practicing empathy and self-regulation are essential steps that, when repeated over time, lead to significant improvement. By doing so, you’ll become a better leader, one who makes strong connections and builds meaningful relationships with those you support and serve.
How are you strengthening your emotional intelligence skills?
Quick Summary
Understand and Manage Emotions: Emotional intelligence (EI) involves recognizing and regulating your own emotions and understanding and influencing the emotions of others.
Handle Aggressive Situations: EI helps de-escalate and prevent aggressive or violent situations with customers and employees.
Pay Attention and Connect: Notice details about your team members’ lives, actively listen, and use this information to build stronger connections.
Reflect and Validate Feelings: Reflect on your interpretations and check if you accurately understand others’ emotions to respond appropriately.
Show Genuine Interest: Ask about others’ interests and avoid making yourself the focus, fostering deeper connections and empathy
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Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash