Productively Disagreeing: How to Have Meaningful Dialogue Even When People Don't Agree

Discussion is a core function of leadership. I think that is an often overlooked resource that people who are rushing look past. Often, we want to make quick decisions and move on. After all, everyone’s plates are full. But there can be tremendous benefits that come from more in-depth discussions and seeking information, and then listening to multiple perspectives.

Debate is not a bad thing. I encourage my teams to not only share their opinion, but to ensure we represent the potential voices of anyone else. Occasionally, you need to have someone take an opposing view to ensure you are thinking through all the details, and factoring in key elements. In a previous role, we sometimes designed a person to be the dissenting voice. Even if they agreed with the general direction of the topic, their job was to play the role of someone who disagreed, and ask further questions. It frequently uncovered some piece of information that had not been thought of. So even if we utilized the majority of what was originally discussed, we improved it by pushing further and ensuring a different point of view was represented.

Here are some tips you can use to ensure you are having meaningful dialogue before landing on a final decision.

Ensure you have multiple perspectives represented

Do you have everyone’s voice accounted for in your discussion? Who will this decision impact? Are they represented, either by someone from that area, or someone that can speak for their needs? Having all areas covered will help ensure you don’t have last-minute changes or questions that arise.

Everyone speaks

If you’ve invited them to this type of discussion and decisions are being made, then everyone has to speak up. If they are not going to participate in the discussion, then they should not come to the meeting. Everyone has a voice, and they need to use it.

Create conflict

As mentioned above, even if there is a consensus from the start, have someone play the role of dissenting opinion to stir debate and further the dialogue. This can help flush out additional details or ideas that will improve the actions you plan to take.

Encourage the conversation

Before, during, and after, as the leader, you need to encourage everyone to say their piece. This becomes especially true for anyone who did share an unpopular or dissenting point. You need those people to realize how important their contribution is, even if it did change the direction of the actions or outcome. You will need them to do that again in the future, and they need to know that their voice matters.

So much gets written about meetings and even the importance of getting along. Neither of those things need to be barriers to better discussions and decision making processes. If the purpose of your meeting is to have dialogue to discuss action steps, then discussion is the actual purpose of the meeting. Set the expectation up front whether that discussion will lead to a decision during that meeting or afterward, then there is no confusion on what the expected outcome was. Keeping everyone engaged and sharing their opinion does have to mean people don’t agree or get along. It is healthy to have those opposing views, so long as everyone knows it's not personal and not about winning or losing a debate. It is about contributing to a better overall outcome for the good of the company.

How will you encourage more meaningful dialogue in your team discussions?

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