November FAQ - Showing and Supporting Gratitude
One Friday, each month, I dedicate the post to looking at some questions I have heard recently from developing leaders. Sharing those questions and my thoughts for them is a way for me to spread the information to as many leaders and future leaders as possible. If you have a question about leadership, or just a situation you would like some additional insight on, please email me at Effective Retail Leader. Let’s take a look at this week’s question.
How can I connect recognition and gratitude for my team to help build engagement?
This seemed like a great question as we are in the Thanksgiving and holiday season. You may be asking yourself some questions…
Am I feeling grateful for what I have?
How about my team?
Do they all know how grateful I am for them?
That last question may be the connector missing to your feeling and those of your team. I am referring to expressing true gratitude for who they are and the contributions they make for you personally and for the business. I see gratitude as something more than a casual thanks. It is a deeper connection between two people and what they offer. Recognizing with a show of gratitude ups the ante in showing your team the appreciation you have for all that they do.
What I think a lot of leaders don’t realize is that expressing and leading with gratitude is a hard skill and a must-have. It’s not a soft skill and a nice-to-have. — Chester Elton
It takes practice
Whether you consider gratitude a hard or soft skill, it is a skill. Developing any skill takes time and practice. Gratitude is no different. Showing genuine appreciation and expressing gratitude may feel uncomfortable, uneasy, even a little hokey if you haven’t done it before. However, once you start, it will begin to feel more natural. The great thing is that when you do it — you get a reward yourself. You will instantly feel better yourself when you see the response from the person you are praising. Their smile, their appreciation of your recognition, reflects back, and you get some of that benefit as well. It will encourage you to try it again and again.
Be specific
Like any type of praising, the more specific you can be the better and the more effective your sharing of gratitude will be. Think about how an individual will feel differently about -
I really am grateful you’re on the team. I am happy to have you.
Ok, that’s nice. It will make that other person feel pretty good. It feels generic, but better than silence or receiving a reprimand.
Now, how does this one feel -
Wow, John, the smile you bring every day, the energy you show, and the way you support your peers is just fantastic. I sincerely appreciate how you contribute to this team with the attitude you bring and the expertise you share. I am thrilled to have you on the team. Thank you.
Do you think John is standing on cloud nine now? Do you think he is clear on what he is doing that you are grateful for? Yes. And you know what? I bet he continues to do more and more of that in the future. And, again, when you pass along that message, you’re going to feel pretty good yourself. (Heck it made me smile even writing that as an example.)
Even more important in a remote world
Even in our retail world, we may have less person to person interactions for meetings than we have in the past. We rely on voice and video calls more often than before. It can be easy when you are not seeing people in person to forget to pass along thoughts of gratitude. We cannot afford to turn this into an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ world. You may have to schedule a specific time to share gratitude with your team. On the other end, not seeing or hearing from your supervisor can (at first) be OK — ‘I guess I must be doing OK, I am not hearing anything.’ Over time that can become more concerning, and you are no longer sure if you’re making the impact you hope to have. Reach out and make sure your team knows how much you appreciate the work they are doing.
Empathy is a multiplier
Expressing your gratitude is important for every leader, as is empathy. The two are not the same, but they are closely related. Being able to place yourself in another’s shoes and then realize how the gratitude message will impact them in a personal way amplifies the expression exponentially. Combining empathy and gratitude allows you to tailor the specifics of your message to what will matter most to that individual. In a year full of challenges and uncertainty, using this combination will make a huge difference in solidifying engagement from the entire team.
Gratitude continues to rise in popularity as a subject to discuss both for personal reasons as well as from a leadership perspective. There are so many benefits of expressing gratitude, it is a wonder it took so long for so many people to understand the difference it can make. During the holiday season, it is a perfect time to begin practicing this skill and then make it a year-round habit to do for yourself and those you serve.
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