How the Multiple Levels of 'WHY' Can Make You a Better Coach

Do you remember when you were a toddler and your favorite question was why? Maybe fresher in your memory is your toddler asking you why a seemingly endless number of times. Children do this because they are curious, and they really do want to understand more. On the other side of the equation, we simply want to get through the answer and move on. The ironic thing is that at our core, we all want to have a better understanding of why things are the way they are.Asking why is actually a powerful leadership tool when used properly. It is a way to gain a deeper understanding of a situation. It is a way to get to know how someone thinks. It is a terrific way to uncover root causes to problems or obstacles that prevent us from moving forward. However, we must be strategic in how we ask and then demonstrate our authentic curiosity about the other individual.If you are asking why over and over to interrogate someone and just try to quickly move through something, it will be a less effective method and you are likely to alienate those you are working with. Done in their best interests and with an open mind, you can discover many barriers that can lead to break-through successes.I can think of two examples that illustrate both sides of this equation from my career.I recall attending a training session not long after I became a District Manager. As part of the training, the outside consultant was coaching towards asking questions to get to a root cause of issues. The theory was spot on, the message, and anticipated outcomes were exactly as you would hope for. As the leader, you would work closely with your team, and ask questions to gain insights into the realities the team faced. You would work to clear obstacles as they surfaced. The premise was you would ask questions to go layers down from the surface and move beyond the simple answers that many managers wanted to provide so they could just ‘move on’.However, the demonstration of these tactics was anything but what you would hope for. Questioning became an interrogation. The trainer encouraged creating as much discomfort as possible to get to the answer. While I may agree that as leaders, we need to ask tough questions to get below the surface, it should not result in good standing team members fearing for their jobs or questioning their own value. Yet, example after example would end in just these things. And this was a group of seasoned District Managers attending this training. At least one person stopped the role-play in tears from the trainer’s questions. It was surreal that we were all watching this unfold.To this day, I still believe in asking great questions to uncover the real issues, but firmly believe it should not result in anyone losing their dignity in the process.On the flip side of this, I recall using the approach of asking different levels of why type questions with a new Manager. We were discussing her Profit and Loss (P&L) statement. I began asking questions about the results she was getting. She provided some basic level answers. We continued to have the discussion, and I asked deeper level questions about why certain things would be happening and how that may not be what was causing the issue. It was good dialogue, she remained engaged throughout, but there came a point where she stopped me and said, “I don’t really understand how to read this P&L and where these numbers come from.” That was the key moment. Her knowledge was the obstacle. The only way we could get to that point was through the relationship we had built during the conversation (and leading up to it). She felt ‘safe’ in identifying herself as one of the underlying issues for her results. She didn’t know how to influence them.We had a highly productive conversation from that point. The discussion turned into a training session for her to learn about how the P&L was structured, how to read it, and her role in impacting it. This became a defining event in her development and she continued to grow as a leader from that point.The point from these examples is that using the multiple levels of ‘why’ based questions can be effectively used to uncover answers without making people dislike the process to get there.Few people like to be in a situation where you do not have the answers, but asking more questions to get to the why of a situation can be a powerful and positive exercise in pushing beyond the current limits of your situation. Next time you are struggling to break through for yourself or with a team you are leading, look to the multiple levels of why type questions to help you find new areas to explore and grow into.How can you use the power of why based questions to move yourself or your team to the next level up? Share your ideas in the comments section.