Meeting FOMO: How to Move Past Being Concerned About Missing a Meeting Invite

Meeting FOMO (fear of missing out) is real, and all joking aside, can be a serious concern for many people. It can come from different angles as well. You may ask yourself, why wasn’t I invited to that meeting? Should I be in this other meeting? If I don’t attend, will something important come up? Will I fall behind if I am not in this meeting? Will others think I don’t care if I don’t attend this meeting with these other essential people in it? Yes, there are many components that can contribute to the possibility of fear of missing out in a meeting. 

In my experience, there are few meetings that most people should be concerned about missing. That becomes even more likely today with the ability to record most meetings for those who cannot attend. The biggest issue with most meetings is that the parameters for who should attend which meetings are not clearly defined. And meeting organizers are just as concerned about the fear of not inviting someone as others are afraid of missing out. This is just one of the many issues most people experience with meeting effectiveness and our culture of meeting overload.

Trust me, you want to avoid being invited to every meeting you could possibly be included in. And you likely don’t want to attend many of the meetings you do get invited to. So, where do you begin to draw the line and manage your time and meeting contributions?

Let me start by saying that your worth or value to the company or your peers is not directly related to the number of meetings you attend. Said another way, your performance should not be measured by the number of meetings you attend. Performance is about output. Effectively contributing to cross-functional meetings is an output that comes from knowing your role and problem-solving with information you have. Meetings are merely another vehicle for company contributions, and shouldn’t be the main one.

Meeting types and purpose

Understanding why you need to have a meeting is the first step in helping everyone determine whether they need to be a part of it or not. In a previous article5 Meeting Types: Use These to Help Define the Right Meeting for Your Situation, I discussed the different types of meetings people have. The purpose for each of these is different and should be a method of setting the expectations for the outcomes. Depending on your role, you may be subjected to most of those types, or only a few. 

For many retail managers, the meetings (or calls) you attend are likely more communication and information sharing based. They are weekly calls you have with your peers and your supervisor. Generally, those are calls you prefer not to miss, but I think it is also OK to not be concerned what you are missing when you do have scheduled time off. Others may be in more strategy-based sessions that can feel more important than sometimes they are. Using some of the ideas below can help you manage any concerns you have on what you miss, or why you may not have been included.

Meeting culture

All of us schedule meetings. They may seem informal or simple, but you are likely setting up some form of a meeting multiple times a week. Each of us has some responsibility in determining how people feel about being in meetings. Be selective in who needs to be a part of a meeting. Help build that culture by bowing out of meetings you don’t feel you are best to contribute to. Suggest others that must be a part of them, or vice versa. Help build a culture of meeting effectiveness by only including people who must be there for that specific session.

Not all meetings are created equal. Who attends should be determined by the purpose of the meeting. Fact gathering, or information sharing might be best served for one group of people. The decision-making or strategy for what to do with that gathered information may be better suited for a different group of people.

Avoiding the fear of missing meetings

With the groundwork laid, how can you manage any fear you have of missing out on meetings and their content? There are steps you can take to ensure your ideas, or those of your team, are well represented and that you can still influence without having to attend every meeting.

Divide and contribute

Utilize your team to help manage the meetings that you may be a part of. This can happen at every level. If you’re a Store Manager that cannot attend a meeting for some reason, or happen to have multiple meetings, have one of your second-level managers attend in your place. They can capture the information needed and share feedback from the sessions. Depending on the meeting type and purpose, ensure they have the information they require ahead of time to contribute as needed. Empower them to represent your perspective.

Build trust

Trust applies in so many ways when avoiding fear of missing any meetings. That trust can extend to people you are sending in your place, as mentioned above. Or it can be with others you know are attending that will represent your views or ensure that you are brought up to speed afterwards. Building relationships with others, even outside your direct report team, can be an excellent way of ensuring that your interests are shared and supported in your absence. This is a great way to avoid meetings where you may only have a small interest or part to play. 

Follow up

When meetings finish that you were not invited to or chose not to attend, follow up with those who did to get insights and outcomes. Often you will find that it was a good thing you didn’t attend, and that your time was better spent elsewhere. Plus, with the follow-up information, you can address any concerns that did arise during the discussion. That allows you to have a more purposeful conversation with others to address any open items.

Represent others

This is more about laying a foundation for partnership that has two-way benefits. Speak with peers or partners to get their information, so you can represent them in the meetings you are attending. In turn, they can do the same thing for you. One person in a meeting can represent many opinions of others. This can keep meeting size down, make them more effective, and still represent the thoughts and ideas of many others.

Ask questions

Being curious and asking questions can alleviate many fears you might have, but also provide information around the information being shared. If you feel like you should be part of a meeting, ask why you weren’t included. Be open to the answer and the feedback. As a culture evolves to having effective meetings with the right participants, this may get easier. In asking questions like this, you may also gain insight to the purpose of the meeting at the stage of a specific project. You might not have needed to be involved yet. Recalling the thought above that your worth is not determined by the number of meetings, others may appreciate that and be saving you time when it is not necessary to have everyone’s involvement. Asking questions can provide clarity around the reasoning.

Collaboration should be encouraged. Inclusiveness is necessary and beneficial. Neither require you to invite everyone to every meeting.

I think it is important to state that I do see value in having meetings, effective meetings. Sometimes that value can be in the eye of the beholder (or meeting organizer). But with clearly defined purposes for meetings, pre-meeting agendas that get shared, and recaps of the outcomes of meetings, you can build a strong culture of having meetings that move things and people forward. The idea of meeting is not the problem, good meetings will add value. It will always come back to ensuring your meeting provided the outcome you needed. When you keep the invites narrow to those who can contribute most effectively, and communicate outwardly how you conduct your meetings, people can begin to ease their fear of missing out. And they will have more time to contribute in their role at greater levels, a win-win for everyone.

What steps will you take to ease any meeting FOMO you have?

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