Leadership Starts in the Mirror — 3 Steps to Being the Leader You Want to Be
Leadership is more than just words, articles, and even behaviors. It is a lifestyle and way of living. It is a choice to be a leader, but even then, you are only successful when others choose to follow you. Furthermore, it is an ongoing commitment and challenge to represent yourself and what you stand for in a way that others can relate to. As Store Managers, District Managers or higher, we are placed in positions that are given a leadership stage. We are expected to be leaders. However, we all probably have experienced people in these roles that fall short of being effective at what they do when it comes to leading others. To become the leader you want to be and one that others will choose to follow has its foundations in three important steps.
Influencing yourself is step one
The first and toughest person to influence is yourself. Effective leadership starts by looking in the mirror. Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe in your message? Are you modeling that in everything you do? A word of caution here: you can have very high standards, even strive for perfection, just don’t try to be too rigid in how you measure that on a day-to-day basis. The point of asking the person in the mirror these questions is not to belittle or chastise yourself. Rather, it is a challenge to ensure you’re giving your best. When you’re not—and those days, even weeks, will happen—take action to get back on track and move forward. Wallowing in self-pity or excuses won’t get you where you want to go. Accept your imperfections, seek to remedy them through learning and practice, and grow from the experience.
How do you want others to see you as a leader? Do you see that in the mirror?
Understanding how people see you is important from a self-awareness standpoint. The best leaders have a healthy handle on how others see them and what they may think about them. Back to the mirror: what do you see when you’re honest with yourself? Does this match what you aspire to? If you are new to leadership and hoping to grow into a larger leadership role, take some time to write down how you would hope other people see you as a leader. Be as specific as you can in describing what people experience when they interact with you. I often think about what others I have worked with and lead think about me after they have moved on to new roles in different companies, or even working for someone else in the same company. I think about how people will remember me, if they will remember me several years into the future. This is not done for bragging rights or to inflate my ego. Instead, I use it to challenge myself to offer something that is worth remembering. In my mind, it is less about them remembering me and more about remembering what I may have helped them with that is now something they benefit from.
Time to reflect and ask yourself hard questions with hard/honest answers
The final step combines parts from the first two. Plan time regularly to reflect on how you lead. Think about the impact you are having on the people you serve or work near each day. Are you influencing in a positive way? This is not about being liked or not. It is about making a difference. This time does not have to be long or even an especially scheduled event. I often do this laying in bed before going to sleep, or on weekend mornings after I wake up, but still resting under the covers. It is a good time to reflect on the week that has passed and think about how I helped, supported, or changed things with those I work with.
Be honest with yourself. On many occasions, I realize I missed big opportunities to help in different ways. In some instances, I recognize that I was flat out wrong or went in the opposite direction I wanted to. I may have let my emotions get the best of me or just rushed through something that required more for understanding. In being honest with yourself, you can identify these moments and then take steps to correct or learn from them for future instances. This is how we get better.
I usually make the assumption that anyone in a leadership role wants to be great at what they do. I believe that everyone is entitled to be led by someone who has their best interest at heart. There is the realization that is not always the case. Leadership is a choice, especially effective leadership. These three steps can help you clarify the choice for yourself and set you on your way to being the leader you know you can be, and one that others choose to follow.
How can you use these three steps to help make you a more effective leader?
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