August FAQ — How Do I Take Feedback? 5 Things You Can Do to Make the Most Of It
One Friday each month, I dedicate the post to looking at some questions I have heard recently from developing leaders. Sharing those questions and my thoughts about them is a way for me to spread the information to as many leaders and future leaders as possible. If you have a question about leadership, or just a situation you would like some additional insight on, please email me at Effective Retail Leader. Let’s take a look at this week’s question.
I just received feedback from my leader. It is not something I have experienced in that way before, and I am not sure how to make the most of it?
Feedback is a gift. I know, I know, I can feel some eyeballs rolling now. That term is a bit cliché and rarely gets supported positively. However, I do believe feedback is a gift and one that can be very valuable. Often the challenge is that we don’t want the feedback, we didn’t ask for the feedback, or we don’t agree with the feedback. All of those may be the case, but nonetheless, feedback is a beneficial opportunity for improvement or education.
Every piece of feedback presents an opportunity for discussion. Done well it will result in the involved parties learning and growing. Here are some ideas on how you can get the most from feedback that is being offered to you.
Listen
Listening is something that I come back to as an important skill for so many reasons. It is the best way to obtain knowledge quickly. So much can be communicated through spoken words. From the tone of the voice to the cadence, and of course, the actual words used will tell you a full story about what is being said. All of those elements come into play when listening to feedback. When receiving feedback, you need to provide your undivided attention. Taking notes is highly recommended. Plan to absorb, not respond.
If you are truly not in a mental space to receive feedback, ask the person who is providing it to reschedule or give you a few minutes to prepare to receive feedback. This may sound silly, but if you cannot hear what is about to be told to you, good or bad, you will lose the value of what is being shared.
This is why if you are the one providing feedback, it is best to first ask if they are willing and/or ready to receive new information.
Reflect
Upon receiving the feedback from a peer, supervisor, friend, or family member, plan time to reflect immediately afterwards. If that is not possible, ensure that you make time as close to the feedback session as possible. As stated above, when receiving the feedback, plan to listen for the idea of learning, not responding. There may be some portions of the information you will be able to process quickly and engage further in the conversation, but that shouldn’t be the expectation for everything. In fact, asking for time to process after the feedback session is perfectly acceptable and should be welcomed by the person providing the feedback.
Be honest with yourself
This may be the most difficult part of feedback. All of these steps apply to any type of feedback. You may have received a glowing review of recent performance. That doesn’t mean you should accept it, smile, and move on. Reflecting and being honest with yourself applies in that set of circumstances, as well as feedback that may require changes.
You will want to strip out the emotional elements of the feedback and concentrate on what you can really take away from what was shared. The honest conversations you have with yourself are just yours unless you choose to share, so there is no risk to being fully transparent with yourself. Are there elements of truth to what they are saying, even if you have a different perspective? If they asked for changes as a part of the feedback, are those reasonable?
This can be so hard because regardless of whether it is for yourself or not, it is difficult to realize that you may have to take a different approach to things. Even when the information is very positive, being honest with what the circumstances were and how you behaved in the situation can be beneficial. On the positive side, how you can do more of that in the future? Or how can you make further subtle improvements to get even better results in the future?
Engage in the information
You have heard everything the other person shared. You have taken time to reflect on the information. And you have been honest with yourself while digesting the data. Now it is time to engage with what you have processed. This could mean following up to ask more questions, or seek additional clarity. This is now the appropriate time to provide any responses to the feedback as well. If you disagreed with something that was provided, you can now approach the discussion without emotion. This is a chance to respond, not react or defend.
Put plans into action
As part of the engagement process, you will inevitably build a plan as to what you need to do next. Find the simplest, smallest step you can and act on it as quickly as possible. That may be a simple email or message back to the person who provided the information, thanking them for the gift they shared with you.
For bigger situations, you may have multiple steps that need to be put into action. Create that list, and begin to manage it daily until you build the right habits or routines around the new actions and behaviors.
Receiving feedback should be a rewarding experience, no matter the content or context of the information. Everyone loves good news, few like bad. Both have personal rewards that go with it, as long as you have the mindset that feedback is truly a gift.
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