5 Ways to Seek Productive Feedback That Will Improve You as a Leader
Feedback is a gift, as the saying goes. True in so many ways. Yet it is not always as helpful as we might like. Timing has a lot to do with how we receive and process feedback we are given, especially when it is about personal performance. As leaders, and notably as high performing leaders, we want to know how we are doing. We are measuring ourselves constantly to make improvements and to ensure we are delivering what our customers (internal team) and supervisors are looking for.
Asking for feedback can be a challenge on both sides of the equation. When do you ask? Who do you ask? What do you ask? All are important questions that need some attention if you are to receive useful data to improve performance. Asking a general question like, ”how am I doing” rarely produces an answer that is fully satisfying. Often the responses are highly subjective and shallow due to the nature of the quick question and timing. You can avoid those situations by having a process for seeking feedback from others.
Here are five steps you can take to build a feedback seeking process for yourself.
Be ready for honest feedback
When seeking feedback, it is as important to give the other person time to consider the response, as it is for you to be ready to hear the information provided. Have you ever received unsolicited feedback that ended up feeling like a gut punch? Or, when not expecting it, you feel more like you have to ‘defend’ your position versus just absorbing it? Those are common responses and do not serve the purpose feedback is meant for. As someone providing feedback, always ask the other person if they are interested and ready to receive some feedback on a situation or their performance. And ensure they understand it is okay to schedule it for later, as you want to have more than a quick conversation about it.
Being ready for feedback means you are willing and able to accept whatever information is provided. That your mind is open to receive the information and you do not feel as though you will need to defend your position. Good leaders do not give feedback expecting you to answer for your actions, rather they hope you’ll ask questions and seek to understand. Then the expectation isn’t about defending, but acting on it. It could be corrective in nature, but also can be do more of what you’re already doing.
Schedule time to discuss feedback
Asking someone off the cuff, “how am I doing?” can be a real challenge for the other party if they are not expecting the question. Often, you are already in a conversation with that other person and towards the end, you may ask about how you are doing. Without time to consider that and what that might mean, a simple and quick response is usually what happens. “I think you’re doing fine. I appreciate the hard work you are doing” may be what you can expect in that scenario.
Instead, schedule some time dedicated to a feedback discussion with the other person. Sending them a note for ‘time for discussing feedback’ and then providing them topics for discussion allows them time to prepare and think about how they will respond to your questions. This will yield far better results for you to act on or create meaningful dialogue about specific situations or activities that you want feedback on.
Ask better questions to solicit feedback
When setting up time with the other person, provide them some of the questions you have to seek the feedback. Some examples —
Where am I using my strengths in my role?
How am I creating value for you, my team, the company?
Are there areas you see I have fallen short in?
Where am I overcompensating for my strengths or weaker areas?
What could I change that would make a positive impact?
Are there certain circumstances where you see my approach or behavior change — positive and negative?
When do you see me performing my best? Are there common situations where this stands out?
Think about the conversations that can come from having these questions on the table versus a more generic, ‘how am I doing’ or ‘what could I be doing better?’
You do not need to have all of these questions in one session. In fact, I would recommend starting with one or two. And use the others for future sessions or with other people that you are seeking feedback from. What other questions might you want to ask?
These questions tend to fall into three buckets: abilities, blind spots, and conditions. Each serve their own purpose in helping you with your development. Getting additional information on your abilities will help build development areas. Learning about blind spots can make you aware of things you cannot easily see and can address in the future. And knowing if certain conditions drive different behavior can make you conscious of what triggers make create actions that can be completed in new ways.
You can learn more about these feedback areas in these articles The ABCs of Soliciting and Accepting Feedback, and in The Abcs Of Giving And Seeking Feedback That Really Works. Both also have references to the book, Help Them Grow or Let them Go.
Make time to digest the information received
As I mentioned above, when receiving feedback, you should not feel obligated to respond immediately to the feedback. Instead, ask for time to think about what you have just been told. Obviously, it is usually easier to hear positive feedback and acknowledge it, and giving thanks for recognition can happen at the moment. You should still make time to reflect on positive reinforcement as much as any feedback that will help you correct any deficiencies.
Plan this time for yourself when you set up the feedback session. That way you already have your calendar blocked, and you know mentally you have that space available to think about whatever feedback comes your way. Knowing you have that time can make it easier to listen to and really absorb the feedback you are being provided. It removes the pressure of feeling like you have to answer immediately.
Build a plan to put the feedback into action
The final step of seeking feedback is the part that makes this process most productive. This is where you build a plan for yourself to act on the feedback you received. If you want to encourage others to give you meaningful, specific feedback in the future, show them that you act on what they tell you. This can be especially positive for peer feedback and discussion. Typically, feedback you receive from your boss will come with an expectation of action. With peers, people usually are willing to share information when they know it will get used.
As you begin your process for asking for feedback, build in the planning time up front as well. It might need to be different from the time you set aside for digesting the information. You must first understand what you were told and what that means to you, versus immediately trying to solve for the problem. Again, building a plan is not just for feedback that requires changes. Have a plan for what you should keep doing when you receive positive, reinforcing information. Can that be applied to other areas you support or work in?
Good feedback is more than a couple of sentences from someone you casually ask, ‘how am I doing?’ While that may work as a passing conversation, it is not where true development will occur. When you are seeking information that can make a difference in how you perform your job, following the steps above will ensure that you can make the most of the feedback that is provided to you. You also set up the others to provide you with information that can be put to positive use productively. Set up correctly, feedback can be one of those gifts you remember forever.
How can you seek feedback in new ways that will provide more valuable information for your development?
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